The girls and I just got back last week from a week long vacation in Texas visiting Chris. He had been training down there since right after the New Year and had a 4 day pass to leave base last week. We knew he would get his pass after leaving in January and while that "goodbye" sucked then. I mean do they ever get easier? (the answer is no) This time the transition home was tough.
But first, the good part! Texas!!
The girls and I embarked on a 2 day drive from Ohio to Tyler, Texas which is about an hour and a half East of Dallas. We busted out 10 hours of driving the first day and finished with a little over 7 hours the next. Everyone freaked out on me when I told them I driving it solo but honestly, I was excited for the road trip. The girls were great and I enjoy seeing new places and new adventures!
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| In Arkansas night 1! |
We arrived in Texas on Friday night and spent the evening at the resort water park where we were staying to burn some energy off and wait for Chris' mom and her wife to get into town!
Chris had a 10 hour drive through the night to where we were staying and we finally had him Saturday morning!
We spend Saturday relaxing, enjoying family time, Audrey and her grandma went horseback riding (which was SUPER cool for them!) and enjoyed the warm Texas weather. Sunday, Chris' mom had to leave and we spent the day at the water park again. Have I mentioned I have #waterbabies?! They (especially Audrey) would live in the water!
On Monday we traveled to Dallas for a change of scenery which was wonderful. It rained that day but that didn't mean we didn't enjoy Dallas! We stayed at the cutest cabin that had a tree house! To say Audrey was obsessed was an understatement.
As the day went on on Monday I could see the "tone" start to change. It went from exciting and fun to Chris talking a little less and us knowing he would leave the next day. The girls didn't notice a thing but I could tell. Chris kinda goes into "check out" mode right before he leaves. Its how he deals so we just let it run its course. We enjoyed a quiet evening and a bottle of wine at the cabin. The next morning the sunshine was beautiful but we knew Chris would be making his trip back to El Paso that afternoon so the cloud of emotions started hitting everyone.
Finny had no clue. She's so cute but she doesn't understand any of it. She has a pillowcase with Chris' picture on it (that was actually Audrey's from last time) that she has slept with since he left in January. When he left this time it was "bye dad" as if he was leaving for work for the day. And Audrey doesn't really say much this time. She is Chris remember?! When she was 3 and he was deployed there was a lot of crying and tears because she didn't understand. This time she understands it. I am not sure if that makes it better or worse. When he left on Tuesday I had to keep it together. For the girls. We still had to get home and I knew I would have a few days to still talk to him before they left country.
The girls and I stayed in Dallas that night to rest up before our long trip home on Wednesday. We drove half of the trip that day and then stopped in St. Louis. That part of the drive was REALLY pretty! Dallas, up through Oklahoma and into Missouri. I was kinda surprised! But it was beautiful down there and definitely somewhere we will revisit when we have more time. We finished it up on Thursday just in time to get home, pick up the dogs and get ready to head back to the real world. Audrey had to go to school the next day and I was back to teaching in the gym Friday morning.
Everything happened so fast and before I knew it it was Friday night and Audrey was at Donna's, Finn was in bed and the eerie quietness hit me. The finality all became real. Shit, this is about to be our life for the next 10 months. I wasn't ready. I didn't want it to end. I would have gotten back in my car that night and drove 10 more hours for it to not be over. Friday was hard, Saturday was hard. Mama needed a break. We tried to unpack, organize, and get back to real life but it was hard. Emotionally I was done for. My house was a mess, I was WAY behind on my business, and I just wanted to crawl into a ball and cry.
After calling it an early night (and A LOT of personal development) Saturday I woke up with a renewed attitude and vision on Sunday. I literally stayed in bed for days when he left for Afghanistan the last time and then masked that whole year of "dealing" with deployment with alcohol. I couldn't do that this time.
I have 2 girls that are counting on me.
I have an entire team of coaches counting on me.
I have fitness challengers and clients that are counting on me.
I have a studio full of students that are counting on me.
I have ME counting on me.
So now we find a new normal. I haven't talked to Chris in days and I am not sure when we will hear from him. The girls and I are slowly but surely getting back into our routine and schedule. We all thrive on schedule and busyness here so that is what we will do. Thank you for all of the love and support through this difficult time and for letting me share this journey with you! #10MonthsToGo
I look forward to reading more of your blog. I really missed it. Hope these months pass quickly and you are together as a family again!! Love you!!!
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